…..that I am conscious about my depression. And I have to admit that I am currently battling my mental illnesses and my depression.
I have been triggered and I am aware of what triggered me and how this started and I have been battling allowing myself to fall into my depression for about 2 weeks. I can admit that I have succumbed to my depression and I have allowed it to run its course. The only way that I can get through this is to get through it. So I am being honest with myself and honest with you, that I am depressed.
I have a lot going on right now. Between being triggered and dealing with something that I can legally not discuss. I have been dealing with nightmares and my PTSD has been triggered due to the fact that I have to go see a neck specialist due to my severe neck injury that is causing excruciating headaches and my quality of life is diminished due to the abuse I endured from my ex. I also am experiencing a lot of other things that are slowly beginning to boil over and that is taking a toll on my emotional well being.
BUT….
… not being counterproductive because I started off by saying that I have to be conscious in my depression and in doing so I have made the conscious decision to say that I am going back to therapy. I have not been at this level of depression in over 18 months and in doing so I am going to take this time to realign my mental health. By that I am going to get back into therapy and do a much needed mental health check up.
In my past I have been diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and PTSD. And in that I have to maintain my mental health and exercise the tools that I need so that I may gain back my mental sanity. I am so emotionally exhausted from battling. I am so tired of fighting and I feel like I have to constantly fight and swing and scream and cry. And I want to get to a place in my life where I feel like the sky is not always falling. And in doing so I have to keep chipping away at my health. I have to keep chipping away at my mental health and maintain a strong mental health palette.
I am now more than ever going to keep fighting for myself and standing up for what is right for me. And I have to be able to keep a clear mind and not allow my emotions to get the best of me in the process. My physical health and my mental health are without a doubt my number one priority. And so this is me looking myself in the mirror and doing a personal mental health check up.
Today, I without a doubt feel like a battered woman, physically.
Stay strong battered hearts.
And I promise to stay strong too.
