And you know what? That’s perfectly okay.
It’s okay to be angry and feel all the emotions that accompany the anger because you’ve spent so much of your life suppressing how you feel. You did this because you were more concerned about their feelings but you weren’t concerned about your own feelings.
But did they care about your feelings when you were literally laying in the ICU fighting for your life and they were fighting on the phone. Or you were being talked to about their personal drama while all you were trying to do was survive. You were literally just trying to find the will to live.
These are put as statements because you realize the answer to these questions. You’re filled with all of this anxiety and all of these feelings of sadness and anger because you’ve been through so much so why do you need to fight for anything or anyone else?
When are people going to start fighting for you?
That’s the question that often is posed in your head.
“When are people going to start fighting for me?”.
It hurts to think about and it takes up all of the energy that I don’t have. I’m fighting my body. My own immune system I am fighting it. My brain. My whole body is fighting me every second of the day.
I’m so tired.
Why should I have to keep fighting for those who don’t want to fight for me?
I’m so incredibly tired.
27 (almost 28) year old Nia Renee
And 4 year old Nia Renee 💜