Today I decided I am angry

And you know what? That’s perfectly okay.

It’s okay to be angry and feel all the emotions that accompany the anger because you’ve spent so much of your life suppressing how you feel. You did this because you were more concerned about their feelings but you weren’t concerned about your own feelings.

But did they care about your feelings when you were literally laying in the ICU fighting for your life and they were fighting on the phone. Or you were being talked to about their personal drama while all you were trying to do was survive. You were literally just trying to find the will to live.

These are put as statements because you realize the answer to these questions. You’re filled with all of this anxiety and all of these feelings of sadness and anger because you’ve been through so much so why do you need to fight for anything or anyone else?

When are people going to start fighting for you?

That’s the question that often is posed in your head.

“When are people going to start fighting for me?”.

It hurts to think about and it takes up all of the energy that I don’t have. I’m fighting my body. My own immune system I am fighting it. My brain. My whole body is fighting me every second of the day.

I’m so tired.

Why should I have to keep fighting for those who don’t want to fight for me?

I’m so incredibly tired.

From,

27 (almost 28) year old Nia Renee

And 4 year old Nia Renee 💜

One Reply to “Today I decided I am angry”

  1. ryanmader – I am a TBI Warrior, husband and stay at home dad. Through the Eyes of a Brain Injury is a place for me to talk and hopefully help people who may also have an everyday struggle or know someone around them. It is very easy to feel alone in our battles and very difficult to express or share about them so i hope by me sharing my life it may help someone out there understand or cope. Always remember You’re Strong, You’re Important, You Matter and You are not Alone
    ryanmader says:

    Anger is very powerful, and you have every right to be. Use it to continue to fight, at the end of the day Nia matters. I’ll fight along side you, the warriors will fight along side you. And you and us fighting might just help someone else fight even when we don’t see it. You’re one of the strongest people I know! The warriors are here for and with you

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