On the inside looking, oh, where do I begin? I feel like I’ve lost all sense of who I am on the outside because it’s starting to match what I feel like on the inside. My insecurities are piling up. My mind is full all the time and my body feels so damn heavy. And …
I found you through me…
I found you the day I finally decided to choose me. That is when I found you. I manifested every ounce of what you are deep within me. Every. Single. Day. I chose me. I chose me by deciding that the life of struggle and pain was no longer for me. I was raised in …
Depression Season….
THIS ONE'S FOR MY CHIARI WARRIORS AND MY DEPRESSION FIGHTERS 💜 I know it has been awhile since I have posted a blog... and I anticipate more sporadic posting until I can find a way to be more consistent. With the climate of the world, how heavy it is, what is happening every single day.... …
HTLABW: The Re-introduction
Hello All! I know that I have spent a significant amount of time away from you all. And your support from the very beginning to still being here now is incredibly unwavering and so amazing. I have been spending time getting to know the new me. Who is this new Nia Renee? I have been …
I’m so fucking desperate…
It appears that I’m so fucking desperate for love that my mistakes continuously catch up to me because I accept any kind of love. I mean historically I have chosen the bad guy after the bad guy after the bad guy. And that is because I have abandonment issues. And my abandonment issues stem from …
The blood stains on my pillow case
The blood stain on my pillow case remains. October 2, 2019 was when it all began. And I didn't realize the severity of it until I saw the blood stain on my pillow case. It all became real when I saw the scar on the back of my head for the first time and the …
The sexy skin I am in…
Photo by: Alisha Light; Instagram: @alightp This sexy skin I am in. It's the skin that I feel has been taken away from me. It has been abused. It has been taken for granted. Even in the photo above, I was in excruciating pain. I can remember the times I would go and "be sexy". …
In sickness and in health
I know we weren't married. But that's what we were working for. And if you couldn't handle in sickness and in health as a boyfriend. How could you handle it as a husband? I was in sickness when we met. Although, at the time we didn't know what it was. It was a bunch of …
I’m so sorry..
I am so sorry.. I hurt you I ignored the red flags I ignored the signs I didn't listen I allowed others to get in my head I allowed the thoughts and views of others including him to tell you on a continuous basis that I was living in my past and that my abuse …
I am feeling sorry for myself..
I am feeling sorry for the woman who sat around and allowed a lot of behaviors into my life that I knew weren't right for me. I am feeling sorry for the woman who sat around and allowed the medical industry who took advantage of my ignorance for so very long. But I am no …
