There is love after abuse 💜 There is life during Chronic illness
Is that I’m a black woman. The first thing that’s noticed about me is my brown skin and then the assumptions shortly after that. It’s exhausting. I have to work 10x harder to be half as good as anyone else. And I’m exhausted. It’s frustrating because as black women we are held to extremely high …
Continue reading "Above it all, the first thing you see when you look at me"
When you are near extreme heart break and you can't take anymore? Is it when you choose to stay in the moment of feeling completely lost and devastated? When did you decide to let go? When you looked me in my face and told me that I wasn't worth it to you, was that then? …
I was under the influence of pain. -Jhene Aiko, Nobody I have never heard realer words that reflect the life that I have lived and continue to live. Since the age of 4 I have been subjected to an abundance of pain. And when I see baby photos of me it makes me cry. It …
It's crazy when you look at things in hindsight. When you think you knew something or you knew someone and it turns out you really didn't. Or you tried to forget. Repress. Supress. Hide from it. You were the nicest person I had ever met. Kind.. Gentle.. Loving.. Protective.. But you were also the monster …
And you know what? That's perfectly okay. It’s okay to be angry and feel all the emotions that accompany the anger because you’ve spent so much of your life suppressing how you feel. You did this because you were more concerned about their feelings but you weren’t concerned about your own feelings. But did they …
"You need to smile more you're a live you should be happy about that". But what if I am not? What if I am not happy that I have to live with the fact that I had brain surgery and this brain condition called Chiari Malformation changed my life? What if I am not happy …
Is the most condescending comment we get. Having an invisible illness comes with several invalidating comments and questions. Well why do you sleep so much? Why do you always tell us you are going to the doctor? Gosh you go to the doctor so much! These comments invalidate our whole existence. And we are 100% …
And that is something that I am working on every single day. I am the person who doesn't want to fail. And I push myself past my limits because I know that I am only going to achieve my goals if I push myself hard enough to get there. Why am I like this? I …
That question comes up a lot. What is it like? What is it like to be in a relationship with someone or have a relationship with someone who's only goal is to manipulate your reality and destroy you. I know that seems "dramatic" but that is the reality of what it is like to date …
That I need to advocate for myself. That I need to fight. That I need to eat. And not only do I need to eat but I need to remind myself to eat 3 x a day. Those of you who struggle with chronic illness, anxiety, PTSD, depression, etc. understand what this means. It means …