There is love after abuse 💜 There is life during Chronic illness
Where do I even begin to start unpacking this round of traumatizing events? May 9th I began experiencing some of the most scary symptoms in a very long time. I din't know what was happening or what to do. I knew this time was much different than the last time and that I had been …
Continue reading "I’ve now dodged death for a second time, how to unpack this?"
Views from my hospital room consist of my very sexy fian-bae who has been nothing short of amazing. But that been the only part of this that has been a relief and pleasant. This medical system that America operates under is broken in so many ways. It took 5 ER trips during the month of …
I have been engaged for 2 months and 6 days. And out of those two months and 6 days I have been writhing in some sort of pain. Whether the agony was from the constant inability to stay awake because of the nagging fatigue that I have been facing. Or if it was simply because …
Continue reading "Trying on hospital gowns instead of wedding gowns…"
I have been told this many times before. But it really hits deep and heavy when it’s coming during a time at which your body is trying to terminate you. I met with my neurologist that looked me dead in my eyes and said “The medication takes time to work, but it is more effective …
Continue reading "I’m not obese, yet I need to lose weight for my health?"
Is that I’m a black woman. The first thing that’s noticed about me is my brown skin and then the assumptions shortly after that. It’s exhausting. I have to work 10x harder to be half as good as anyone else. And I’m exhausted. It’s frustrating because as black women we are held to extremely high …
Continue reading "Above it all, the first thing you see when you look at me"
When you are near extreme heart break and you can't take anymore? Is it when you choose to stay in the moment of feeling completely lost and devastated? When did you decide to let go? When you looked me in my face and told me that I wasn't worth it to you, was that then? …
I was under the influence of pain. -Jhene Aiko, Nobody I have never heard realer words that reflect the life that I have lived and continue to live. Since the age of 4 I have been subjected to an abundance of pain. And when I see baby photos of me it makes me cry. It …
It's crazy when you look at things in hindsight. When you think you knew something or you knew someone and it turns out you really didn't. Or you tried to forget. Repress. Supress. Hide from it. You were the nicest person I had ever met. Kind.. Gentle.. Loving.. Protective.. But you were also the monster …
And you know what? That's perfectly okay. It’s okay to be angry and feel all the emotions that accompany the anger because you’ve spent so much of your life suppressing how you feel. You did this because you were more concerned about their feelings but you weren’t concerned about your own feelings. But did they …
"You need to smile more you're a live you should be happy about that". But what if I am not? What if I am not happy that I have to live with the fact that I had brain surgery and this brain condition called Chiari Malformation changed my life? What if I am not happy …