The monster under my bed

It's crazy when you look at things in hindsight. When you think you knew something or you knew someone and it turns out you really didn't. Or you tried to forget. Repress. Supress. Hide from it. You were the nicest person I had ever met. Kind.. Gentle.. Loving.. Protective.. But you were also the monster…

Today I decided I am angry

And you know what? That's perfectly okay. It’s okay to be angry and feel all the emotions that accompany the anger because you’ve spent so much of your life suppressing how you feel. You did this because you were more concerned about their feelings but you weren’t concerned about your own feelings. But did they…

But you don’t look sick

Is the most condescending comment we get. Having an invisible illness comes with several invalidating comments and questions. Well why do you sleep so much? Why do you always tell us you are going to the doctor? Gosh you go to the doctor so much! These comments invalidate our whole existence. And we are 100%…

What is it like?

That question comes up a lot. What is it like? What is it like to be in a relationship with someone or have a relationship with someone who's only goal is to manipulate your reality and destroy you. I know that seems "dramatic" but that is the reality of what it is like to date…

I have to remind myself…..

That I need to advocate for myself. That I need to fight. That I need to eat. And not only do I need to eat but I need to remind myself to eat 3 x a day. Those of you who struggle with chronic illness, anxiety, PTSD, depression, etc. understand what this means. It means…

On the inside looking out

On the inside looking, oh, where do I begin? I feel like I’ve lost all sense of who I am on the outside because it’s starting to match what I feel like on the inside. My insecurities are piling up. My mind is full all the time and my body feels so damn heavy. And…