I try my best to forget all of the things that I’ve been through in my past with my abuse and even thinking further on my medical condition and how growing up I was even subjected to abuse when it came to my genetics. I try my best to forget about how it felt in…
I think about you often….but not the way you think
It has been almost two years since I decided to leave you for my safety and for my mental health. And now more than ever, I think about you......often. But not like you think. You see, since I left you I took my mental health more serious than ever. I went to see not one...…
On the inside looking out
On the inside looking, oh, where do I begin? I feel like I’ve lost all sense of who I am on the outside because it’s starting to match what I feel like on the inside. My insecurities are piling up. My mind is full all the time and my body feels so damn heavy. And…
I found you through me…
I found you the day I finally decided to choose me. That is when I found you. I manifested every ounce of what you are deep within me. Every. Single. Day. I chose me. I chose me by deciding that the life of struggle and pain was no longer for me. I was raised in…
Depression Season….
THIS ONE'S FOR MY CHIARI WARRIORS AND MY DEPRESSION FIGHTERS 💜 I know it has been awhile since I have posted a blog... and I anticipate more sporadic posting until I can find a way to be more consistent. With the climate of the world, how heavy it is, what is happening every single day....…
HTLABW: The Re-introduction
Hello All! I know that I have spent a significant amount of time away from you all. And your support from the very beginning to still being here now is incredibly unwavering and so amazing. I have been spending time getting to know the new me. Who is this new Nia Renee? I have been…
I’m so fucking desperate…
It appears that I’m so fucking desperate for love that my mistakes continuously catch up to me because I accept any kind of love. I mean historically I have chosen the bad guy after the bad guy after the bad guy. And that is because I have abandonment issues. And my abandonment issues stem from…
The blood stains on my pillow case
The blood stain on my pillow case remains. October 2, 2019 was when it all began. And I didn't realize the severity of it until I saw the blood stain on my pillow case. It all became real when I saw the scar on the back of my head for the first time and the…
The sexy skin I am in…
Photo by: Alisha Light; Instagram: @alightp This sexy skin I am in. It's the skin that I feel has been taken away from me. It has been abused. It has been taken for granted. Even in the photo above, I was in excruciating pain. I can remember the times I would go and "be sexy".…
In sickness and in health
I know we weren't married. But that's what we were working for. And if you couldn't handle in sickness and in health as a boyfriend. How could you handle it as a husband? I was in sickness when we met. Although, at the time we didn't know what it was. It was a bunch of…
