I found you the day I finally decided to choose me.
That is when I found you. I manifested every ounce of what you are deep within me. Every. Single. Day.
I chose me. I chose me by deciding that the life of struggle and pain was no longer for me.
I was raised in it. I lived it. It became a normalcy. It became what I expected. And oddly enough it became what I missed when I didn’t have it near me. I always assumed that that was my destiny. I was taught that “the struggle” and “pain” was something that was supposed to be within me and around me 24/7.
Chaos. Lost in it.
But I chose to break out of the darkness and find the light within me that I thought was supposed to be provided by the world. But I had to give it to me. I had to work hard for it. I had to seek it. I had to want it.
And wanting it required that I face every single demon that I had ever encountered. I had to really dive deep and find out what it was and why I continued on a path that was not suitable for me. I had to dig hard for it. I had to find myself within it all.
And it taught me my worth. It taught me who I am and what I deserve.
And it turns out. I deserve you. I deserve the love you give. And I deserve to accept it and allow it to happen. I deserve to accept the love you give to me and let it grow.
I am afraid. Because I don’t want to be imagining this as real love. I want it to be real love.
And every day you show me that it is.
I found you, through me.
I found you.
But in order to do that.
I had to find me. 💜