I found you the day I finally decided to choose me.

That is when I found you. I manifested every ounce of what you are deep within me. Every. Single. Day.

I chose me. I chose me by deciding that the life of struggle and pain was no longer for me.

I was raised in it. I lived it. It became a normalcy. It became what I expected. And oddly enough it became what I missed when I didn’t have it near me. I always assumed that that was my destiny. I was taught that “the struggle” and “pain” was something that was supposed to be within me and around me 24/7.

Chaos. Lost in it.

But I chose to break out of the darkness and find the light within me that I thought was supposed to be provided by the world. But I had to give it to me. I had to work hard for it. I had to seek it. I had to want it.

And wanting it required that I face every single demon that I had ever encountered. I had to really dive deep and find out what it was and why I continued on a path that was not suitable for me. I had to dig hard for it. I had to find myself within it all.

And it taught me my worth. It taught me who I am and what I deserve.

And it turns out. I deserve you. I deserve the love you give. And I deserve to accept it and allow it to happen. I deserve to accept the love you give to me and let it grow.

I am afraid. Because I don’t want to be imagining this as real love. I want it to be real love.

And every day you show me that it is.

I found you, through me.

I found you.

But in order to do that.

I had to find me. 💜

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